kitchen for sale

Jarrett and I spent the weekend cleaning out the kitchen, recycling a bunch of crap, and dropping things off at the Goodwill. I decided to make a list of the few things I have left which somebody might want, and post it here. Clicking any of the pictures should send you to a full-size photo. If you're interested in anything, let me know before I get rid of it elsewhere.

Obviously, this sale only applies to people in Portland. I can't imagine anyone would want to spend up to three times the price to have anything shipped to them. I am driving to California before we fly away, though, so let me know if you're down there, and you want to work anything out.

Very Nice Toaster Oven : $20
This shiny new toaster oven is only a few months old. We bought it to replace a crappy old one, and it has served us well. It is small enough to fit on a counter easily, but deep enough to fit a frozen pizza. Not that we eat those all the time or anything. It bakes, it broils, it toasts. . . and it's a shelf you can set stuff on, so long as you don't mind your stuff getting really hot!

9-Piece 18/10 Stainless + Copper Pan Set : $60
When I graduated from culinary school, my parents bought me a bunch of celebratory kitchen presents. My awesomely crafty mom wrapped all those presents in dish towels and kitchen twine, and they brought them on a road trip to see me. A short time later, the husband and I moved in to our very first apartment without roommates, and those gifts (and towels!) were invaluable. Best of all was this set of well-made pans with copper bottoms. One of my friends mocked me that they were Martha Stewart brand, but they were awesome them, and they remain as awesome now. They are in great condition.

This set comes with an 8-quart stock pot (spaghetti!) and a 10-inch frying pan (rice-a-roni!), as well one lid which fits both of those. There is also a strainer attachment for the big pan, but I never use it because it's dumb. There is also a 2-quart pan (macaroni + cheese!) with a matching lid, a teeny little sauce pan (soup!) with its own lid, and a 6-inch egg pan (eggs?). Original price was $149, but they can be yours for $60. Cause you're pretty.

Calphalon 2.5-quart Saucier with glass lid : $45
Remember all that stuff I said about my Martha Stewart pans? Well, it's true. . . they are nice pans. This pan, however, is lovely. I use it for everything. I don't know how to describe it, but cooks know a good pan the same way they know a good knife: it works beautifully, and it is balanced just so. It cost me eighty bucks, which is why the price is so high. Also, I'm considering bringing it on the voyage. . .

Isi Whipped Cream Canister : $15
Another gift from the thoughtful parental units. Lovingly cared for, in near perfect condition, and all yours for the above bargain basement price for two reasons. One: I have lost a lot of weight, and don't need any help finding it again. Two: it's kinda expensive to buy cream and nitrous cartridges, so you'll need the cash. Plus, they check your ID when you buy nitrous oxide, and look at you like a degenerate.  Be a weirdo noveau chef and make freaky savory foams to gross out your friends! Everyone loves the texture of saliva on their foods! Or, make yummy delicious whipped cream like a normal. The choice is yours.

Pretty, Dainty Cheese Plate : $5
Honestly, I was going to give this to the Goodwill, but figured someone might like it. It's really quite pretty, and my crappy picture doesn't do it justice. The base is about 8 inches across, and it's quite sturdy. The dome is blown glass, and it freaks my klutzy ass out every time I touch it. I like to put mini pies on it, then gaze at them lovingly. I wonder how it was that I ended up so fat. . . ?

Sharp Half Pint Microwave : $40
This little sucker is a cutey. I bought it because, clearly, I was on a blue kick at the time, and it's so damned adorable. It's basically a 12(ish)-inch cube, so it takes up very little space. It has a carousel inside, as all good microwaves do, and it rotates your food like a miniscule champ. Its only drawback is that it can't microwave big things. Then again, if you need more than four burritos in one sitting, your problem goes beyond microwave capacities.

Sno-Cone Machine + Extras : $5
I didn't buy this because it was blue. That was the only color they had. I bought it because I was hot and I wanted a freaking sno-cone. And now you can have it for the same reason. You don't even need to freeze special trays—just dump in some ice cubes. Plus, I found some sugarfree syrup packets and some cute sno-cone cups and straws in the cupboard when I dug this out, and you can have those too. Now, if only it was sunny outside.

Rival 4-quart Crock Pot : $10
This thing is in excellent condition, and I have used it religiously. Beef burgundy, Japanese curry, Kalua pig. . . oh, the memories that Crocky and I have. Wouldn't you like slow-cooked memories of your own? I'm also throwing in a weird insert I bought from the crock pot company, which allows you to bake cakes in it. You know, if that's the kind of thing you're into. I haven't actually done that, but it seemed like a kitschy funny idea. Take it away!

Kitchen Aid 7-cup Food Processor : $40
This little sucker was over a hundred bucks, but I just need to get it out of here. You're welcome to pay me more, if you're so inclined, but I won't twist your arm. That would be bizarre and mean of me. Comes with the regular attachment, a grater attachment, and an attached cord! I joke, but it's awesome. It's smaller than the behemoth food processors out there, but more powerful than one of those stupid mini prep things, which you think are going to be helpful, but really just piss you off, and leave you smashing up your stuff in tiny batches. It is actually the perfect size for small home lifestyles. Sadly, I am moving into a closet, and taking a pillow instead.

Sunbeam Bread Machine : $15
I will not shit you. . . there are much better bread machines out there. If you want a crazy awesome bread machine, then be my guest, and spend your yen on one of those. If I had the space or the money, I certainly would. However, if you just want occasional homemade bread, made perfectly fine, and available in two sizes, then look no further. This little guy is in good shape, and even has the original manual (ooooh!). Also, if you would like to buy a bread machine without taking out a second mortgage, this is just right. It's fairly big, though, so make sure you have room for the sucker first. I won't answer the door when you come knocking, crying that it's heavy.

Eight Little Jam Jars : $5
These cute little German or Swiss or Swedish or Whatever jars are built for homemade jams or jellies. I use them for little custards, because they're cute, I'm full of whimsy, and it cracks me up. I also made yogurt in them once or twice, and for your ten bux, I will tell you how I did so! You can use them for anything you see fit. They come with rubber seals and little metal clasps.

Unremarkable Little Rice Cooker : $5
Cooks rice, and steams veggies in the included attachment. Not fancy, not exciting. Fill with food and water, press down the switch, wait for your food. It does make a satisfying thud when the food is done. Whee!

Once again, there are many better [rice cookers] out there, but you can't beat this price. A rice cooker is not really a necessity, not even where I'm going, but if you wants it, it's yours! Don't make the poor little guy go into the Goodwill box! Take him home, glue on some googly eyes, and tell him your secrets!

Matfer Mandoline : $40
We call this guy Bitey. It is super sharp, and does exactly what it's supposed to do. If you are in a hurry, and you forget to use the guard while slicing onions for French Onion soup, it will do exactly as it was made to. If you store it wrong-side-up in the cupboard, it will do exactly as it was designed to. Comes with three blades, and a guard to protect whatever fingers you have left after remembering there is a guard. I will also throw in some band-aids, because you will be needing them. It's a lovely piece of equipment, despite the horror it has inflicted upon me, and you are more than welcome to purchase it at this more than half-off price, then write me in Japan, so that we may swap war stories.

Espresso Machine and Extras : $40
One mini espresso machine, which works by pouring water into a tank, then waiting for it to heat up. It's not a long wait, but I thought you'd like to know. Comes with a wand for lattes, and a glass decanter for said espresso. I don't know why we bought this, as even cheap espresso machines are crazy expensive, but we wanted one, and now we have to get rid of it. To make you feel better about your 40 bones, I'm throwing in a stainless steel milk-foaming thingy with an attached thermometer, a pretty canister for coffee, a shaker for cocoa or cinnamon or whatever, and two nice, big mugs. Doesn't that make you feel warm inside?

Ikea Spice Rack, Hardware & Jars : $20
I like spices, but I really love spice racks, so I shelled out the monies for this nice set-up only a few months ago. It has a pole, which hangs on the wall, two racks which hold 15 spice jars in total, and a couple clips for towels or whatever. Let me know if you want all my spices, too (free!), or I'll just run all the glass jars through the dishwasher for you.